IF I CAN DO IT
I sure as hell know you can too!
What’s up! My name is Matthew and I used to have a passionate love affair with FEAR.
“How can you love FEAR?” You may be asking yourself. Well I’ll tell you!
I don’t know when it happened, but sometime in grade school I started to be afraid. I bought into the lie that I wasn’t perfect and whole and complete, and the fear of being myself crept in. I was pretty fertile ground for that fear to set up shop.
My inner fear voice started to talk to me pretty loudly, telling me that I was no good, not smart enough, not tall enough, not black enough, not man enough, not sexy enough.
As I got older and began comparing myself to others, I became convinced I was damaged goods. I thought that there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t clear on what I wanted, because I didn’t know my purpose, because I felt lost, because I lacked confidence, and because I didn’t have more successes and achievements to show for myself. Everyone else seemed to have their shit together, but secretly I was losing mine.
I believed a lot of unhealthy ideas about myself, and the result was a life I wasn’t very excited to wake up to everyday.
On the outside people thought I had my shit together, but I was a good liar. What the world saw was a guy with several college degrees, working in a thriving field, charismatic and outgoing. What they didn’t see were the massive struggles I had with self esteem, the crippling fear I dealt with constantly, and the judgements that colored almost everything and everyone I encountered. They didn’t see the struggles with drugs and pornography. They didn’t see the fractured relationships. They didn’t see any of the things I didn’t want them to see.
That was until I made a decision that changed everything for me. I decided that the only thing separating me and the people I admired, was choices. And my choices had led me exactly to where I was in life. My choice in actions, habits, words, thoughts, all were contributing to this life experience I was having. And if I wanted to create a different life experience, then it was time to make some new choices.
It would be awesome to say “My life went from fear based to love based in one fell swoop!”, but that wasn’t really how it happened. For me, it was a series of bold moves that helped me leap frog towards loving myself. What each of these MASSIVE ACTIONS had in common was that I was choosing LOVE over fear. Over the course of several years I stopped using drugs, took a bold stance for a relationship, took a leap of faith into entrepreneurship, said “yes” to things I would have run from in the past, opened myself up to new experiences, and practiced having faith.
It was hard and uncomfortable, and there were so many moments where I questioned everything and thought “What the fuck am I doing??”. But the burning desire to choose love was so much more powerful than the pull of the fear. I knew what fear felt like, I knew what it tasted like, and I knew what life was like for me when I chose fear more often than love. And that helped me stay on my course.
Along the way I found a coach and mentor who became my guide and teacher as I learned how to step fully into my greatness. I embraced community and began learning how to trust others. I opened myself up to new levels of love that I had been previously closed off to. I continued taking risks and putting myself out there and embracing discomfort.
And over the course of many years, transformation began to happen.
And transformation is still happening. It will never cease to happen. I’m so committed to understanding myself anew, getting to know at a deeper level, embracing the process of humility, healing and growth.
I feel like my life right now follows closely to the opening line from my favorite Jay-z song (Public Service Announcement), “Allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is….”
Matthew muthafukin Bivens!
That’s the tune I bob my head to these days!
Listen, I know what it’s like to massively doubt yourself. To be so afraid that you’re literally paralyzed in your tracks. To feel so much anxiety that your body no longer responds to your commands. To not feel worthy of love, attention, money, success. To be harshly critical of yourself and to have that voice of self judgement that never seems to shut the fuck up!
I haven’t kicked these things fully, probably never will. But the difference for me is that today the fire of love and passion and growth and surrender that burns within me is so much more powerful than the fears, and my reps in using my tools and leaning on my community is so strong, that the fear has no shot in taking me out anymore.
And I can teach you how to do the same in your life! I can teach you how to light your own fire, how to feel passionate about your bigger purpose, how to design a vision for your life that gives you goosebumps and how to live into that vision boldly each day. I can teach you how to like and then possibly love yourself, how to honor and take care of your body temple, how to nurture your curiosities and connection to your self, others and life. And I can help you form the habits, displicine and mindsets so that you can literally create your dream life.
Some of this I teach in my free podcast and in my free tools. Some I share in my courses and products. And some is best shared in a 1-on-1 setting.
But my mission is to help you transform fear to love and scarcity to abundance, and I’m so committed to creating and holding the space for your greatness!
Thank you for reading a bit of my story and hopefully by now you see why I smile wide and embrace life fully.
Keep BEing awesome.
Having It A.L.L. Fam!
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© 2022 Matthew Bivens, LLC.