Episode 283

Dream Big, Start Small: How To Achieve More, Set Goals and Stay Focused When You’ve Struggled In The Past

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Do you have little faith in your ability to achieve your big goals?

I used to feel pretty low on myself as it related to setting goals and achieving them.

Didn’t matter if it was a work goal, fitness goal, money goal or just a life goal — a part of me seemed to always believe that no matter how much I wanted it, I just wouldn’t achieve it.

The problem wasn’t that I didn’t know what I wanted. I had PLENTY of things I desired to accomplish (my Big Hairy Audacious Goal list was massive). I was just ineffective at everything AFTER coming up with the goal. I didn’t know how to plan, how to strategize, how to help myself overcome my own obstacles, how to check in with my goals, how to be smart with my goals — none of that.

And so 95% of the time I ended up quitting and feeling crappy about myself. Each failed goal made me feel less and less capable, and that led me to set less and smaller goals.

Can you relate?

In today’s podcast I’m tackling the big hairy beast that is GOAL SETTING, in the hopes of helping to ignite a breakthrough within you.

You CAN set goals that are meaningful and will really move the needle for you.

You CAN create a plan and follow it.
You CAN overcome the inevitable obstacles that you’ll run into along the way.

And you CAN achieve those things you really desire in life.

Ready to make it happen?

Let’s do this together!

Full Show Notes

WELCOME

This is the second day of Having It A.L.L. week.

Intention is to help you through this tough time by keeping you intentional on how you can create your abundant loving life.

This week we’re looking at how you can level up your relationships, your sense of accomplishment, your emotional well being, your perspective, and your passions.

Yesterday I shared with you an episode of stay at home date night ideas for dating yourself, your partner or your family, and that episode came from an awesome podcast called Sex, Money & Real Estate (hosted by my friends Bill & Nancy Jamison).

Today I want to help you feel more accomplished with this time that you have in front of you, and we’re going to do that by addressing your GOALS.

If you’ve struggled with feeling like you’re not achieving your goals (or maybe you don’t even know how to be effective at setting goals in the first place), in this episode my intention is to ignite a breakthrough within you.

You CAN set goals that are meaningful and will really move the needle for you.

You CAN create a plan and follow it.
You CAN overcome the inevitable obstacles that you’ll run into along the way.

And you CAN achieve those things you really desire in life.

Sounds awesome, right!?

I’ve turned the notes from this episode into a super simple guide to creating goals and actually achieving them. Get it at the episode page for this episode: www.matthewbivens.com/achieve-your-goals

MAGIC

Watching Maya choose to eat her veggies, choose to run we me, choose to put her toys away. She watches Sarah and I and it’s magical seeing how who we are BEING is impacting her (more than what we tell her).

LISTENER LOVE

Everyone choosing to do something empowering and healthy with the time they now find on their hands.

EPISODE

“The trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score” – unknown

You’ve probably listened to goal setting podcasts in the past. Maybe some things stuck, maybe a bunch of stuff never got applied.

Today my intention is to rattle something within you that creates real and lasting shift as it relates to you achieving what you want in life. Because big, meaningful achievements that leave you feeling inspired and fulfilled don’t happen by coincidence. They happen with intention, with planning and with execution.

And I don’t care how ineffective you’ve been at achieving your goals in the past, you have the ability to change that and improve and finally start knocking down the goals you set up.

This is the perfect time to talk about this as well, because it’s the last day of March 2020, and we’re right in the thick of the corona virus experience right now. So you may find yourself at home, with more time on your hands, struggling to feel productive, not knowing where to put your time and energy, or perhaps you’re listening to this far into the future and you simply want to FINALLY achieve the things you desire to achieve and you know your current method of setting goals isn’t cutting it.

Here’s how this episode is going to help you:

  • bust down the fear of your scary goals
  • come up with goals with focus and meaning that actually matter
  • dream big and start small
  • plan for inevitable obstacles
  • walk the walk
  • give yourself props

And we’re going to use the example throughout this of someone who wants to publish a book.

In 2015 my business partner Jim and I wrote and published a book called “Insights into Growing Powerful Habits: Our journey in applying Stephen Covey’s “Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”. Completing that book directly led to this podcast! I used this goal setting process to accomplish my goal and publish a book.

Let’s start with why you fail at goals:

  • you set too many, not enough focus
  • you never break them down into smaller steps (set huge goals, then try to tackle the hugeness)
    • I used to do this. I’d have a goal of “a side hustle that generates an additional $100,000 in annual revenue” and that was pretty much it. No further detail. A desire, no plan.
  • don’t have any real plan OR you don’t follow your plan
  • you never build real momentum (fail to get over the tipping point)
  • you tell others
    • I used to do this. I’d tell Sarah any goal that I had, believing that by telling her I now had more accountability and it would encourage me to complete the goal. Reality was I felt accomplished simply by telling her, and then almost always I stopped the goal quickly after starting. I would get some sort of acknowledgement and then my motivation to continue went down. Telling others about your goals can give you a fake feeling of achievement (especially when you get congrats from friends, you’ll feel like you’re already achieving them). Instead, write them down, don’t share them, come up with a practical plan, execute like crazy. Awesome quote on this, “Work hard in silence, let success make the noise”.

Steps to achieving your goals:

  • Tackle the scariness of setting big goals – being aware of how your mind sabotages your achievements before you even begin
  • Let it rip – grab a pen and paper and write down what you want to achieve. Big or small. Make a list. Personal development, health/fitness, money, relationships, career/school, lifestyle. What do you feel is important for you to achieve?
  • Focus, focus, focus – now what’s REALLY important to you? Not everything from the step above matters. Select 1-2 goals TOPS in any one area of life (so don’t have 3 big business goals you’re trying to accomplish, or 3 big health goals at one time)
  • 5 Whys – Why is that goal important to you? Okay, so why does that matter to you? Okay, so why does that matter to you? Repeat that 2 more times and you’ve got your bigger why for this goal. Do that for every goal you are focusing on. Put your WHY somewhere we’ll you’ll see it and be reminded of it often.
  • Write your goal down and make it SMART – write down your goal, it makes it real. Make sure it’s Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time Bound
  • Dream big, and start small – take your big goal and break it down into small steps. Now break those down into smaller steps. Now break those down into tiny tasks. Now you’re cooking!
  • Spot your obstacles — what obstacles stand in the way of you achieving your goal? What mental barriers do you have? What physical or resource limitations can you see? Pretend you are your own coach (or pretend a friend came to you with the same goals and obstacles), and develop your way around those obstacles. Use “if-then plans”.
  • Schedule it damnit – open your calendar and block out the time needed to accomplish your goal. Schedule a check-in as well (weeks or months in the future) to review your progress and adjust if necessary.
  • Give yourself props along the way — too easy to be laser focused on the goal and completely forget that it’s not just about the destination, it’s the journey that will truly change you. The day-to-day march towards achieving your goal is what will transform you into the person who actually can achieve that goal (because that’s not you right now, otherwise you’d have what you want). So set up milestones to give yourself some props (ie rewards) as you march along.
 

Once again, I’ve turned the notes from this episode into a super simple guide to creating goals and actually achieving them. Get it at the episode page for this episode: www.matthewbivens.com/achieve-your-goals

Keep BEing awesome my friend!

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